In today’s environment of self-righteous indignation when it comes to the
treatment of animals, our nation should be astonished by the lack of outrage
concerning the mistreatment of our most valuable resources. The human animal. Our
children.
For years, we have taught our children to be afraid of the dark character in the
black coat and hat lurking in the shadows, offering candy and other
enticements. We never took the time to teach our children about the dark hearts
of the people we call family, friends, and acquaintances. Oh, we may have whispered, “Tell me if
someone ‘touches’ or ‘bothers’ you”. When told, this information usually falls
upon the deaf ears of those responsible for protecting and ensuring the safety
of the child. Mostly for the sake of keeping the family together or to smother
the supposed shame brought upon the family.
The laws of the land are written as to accommodate this by minimizing the true
heinousness of the crimes against children. One way of accomplishing this is to
slap the brand of Child Molester on the perpetrator, which can lead one
with the misguided perception of a person who simply fondles, or had a casual
inappropriate occurrence with a child. Meaning he/she placed some part of
his/her body on, or in a child’s body.
Maybe it’s because there are in most instances no physical bruising to catch the eye.
Maybe it’s because children change their stories especially when the
perpetrator lives in the home or has easy access to the child. We mistakenly
consider that a child can essentially influence whether or not they will be
raped.
In recent months, a special has been airing on the television show Dateline. On
this show, episodes have aired showing sting operations used to catch and
humiliate cyber predicators. The fact that the men portrayed on the show are being caught attempting to have sex with a minor does not appall, as one would expect. Instead we shake our heads, and
yes sometimes laugh at the absurdity of the sad excuses provided to the host. What
really amazes me is the fact that these men are often repeat offenders whose
sentences for their crime may last months at most and in some instances, there
is no jail time.
Put before you is the idea that if these persons have not been charged with rape, there
would be no record of having raped multiple women and being let out on the
street with what amounts to a slap on the wrist. Serial rapist would be the
brand placed upon this criminal. Have we not reached the point of calling a
spade a spade?
This is our fault.
Our society has also come to believe that women, especially those deemed by some to
be of exceptional beauty, are incapable of committing the crime of rape. How is
this possible? Have we made physical appearance criteria for determining the
level of depravity of the mind and heart?
A young girl is the eldest of what would eventually become twelve children. In
her early years, she and her sisters and brother were raised primarily by their
grandmother. Her mother went out, found and brought home the man of her dreams.
This man was quite handsome and gave the appearance of being worldly and all
knowing while in fact he was a cruel, divisive and formidable foe. Eventually,
this person would rock the very foundation of this young girl’s beliefs in all
things deemed Godly.
By the time, the little girl was in the third grade she was separated from her
siblings with the exception of one sister. This separation came in the form of
being placed in a “private” school. Separation is a usual and effective tactic.
This was the beginning of a life filled with hurt, lies, and betrayal. This was
a lot to deal with for anyone. Let alone a child. Eventually, the children’s
only protector was driven out and forbidden to have access to the children
sometimes for as long as a year. With grandma essentially out of the picture,
it was open season.
In time the child, less than one month after turning 12 years old would give birth
to her stepfather’s child, without interference from anyone within or outside
of the family. Teachers, family nor doctors raised any red flags. There were
whispers. People knew. No one came to her aid. Not even her mother.
This is our fault.
In our mind’s eye, when a man or woman is raped, it’s often a brutal attack such
that would leave bruising and physical scarring. In most cases, this attack
lasts only for the brief period available to the attacker. Although the victim
is hurting both mentally and physically for all intense and purposes, the
attack is over save for the aftershock and its lasting affects.
In the situation where a child is raped in what should be the comfort of their
home, daycare, camp, church or school these rapes are constant, real, and more
brutal. This is because the repeated attacks are not on the body alone. The
mind, body and spirit are all victims of this savagery. The assailant does not run away. More often
than not, he or she merely retreats to the next room until a later date. The
rapist, more often than not, greets the victim, over morning breakfast.
This is not an attempt to diminish the damage caused by rape from a stranger or
associate on an adult. A child, however, is placed in the situation of having
to suffer the continual attacks of the perpetrator. Diminished is the will to
fight, the opinion of self-worth and sometimes the will to survive. The crimes
of the attacker become the shame they carry in secret places of their hearts.
Not long ago, there was outrage expressed regarding the treatment of prisoners of
war at Guantanamo Bay. Where is this same outcry against the brutal attacks on
our children?
This is our fault.
Even with the overwhelming reports in the news about the kidnapping and rapes of
children we, as a society, still live with the false comfort of thinking this
could never happen to “my” child. We point fingers and ask where the parents
are. We point fingers at our politicians and ask what they will do to protect our
children. The question that begs to be asked is what we will do to protect our children. Politicians are not born into office. We vote them into and out of positions. This is accomplished by
choosing to either cast or not to cast a vote. Children don’t vote.
We are at an impasse. The continuance of idle discussion about the changes that
must be made is of no benefit. There is the blood of cruelty and deceit and
hopelessness on the hands of those who choose to look the other way. How can we
look into the faces of our children and know within our hearts that we do
nothing to protect them? How do we look into the face of the person in the
mirror with the knowledge that we cower from the prospect of standing
up-sometimes alone, against the masses?
When we do nothing, we are a part of this quiet conspiracy.
When we do nothing, we are co-defendants in these crimes.
An even greater cause for concern surrounds the issue of the statute of
limitations. As you may be aware, most assaults begin when a child is of such a
young age that when they have reached adulthood, and are supposedly empowered
to address the crime, the assailant is protected under this veil of injustice.
These crimes are of such degradation as to kill the spirit, hopes and dreams of
children. The time limitation in place renders the victim of these vile crimes
as helpless as when the assaults were taking place. The idea that the victim’s
youth is being wielded, as a weapon to fend off prosecution is ludicrous.
This crime is responsible for killing and cutting short a childhood that as in
physical death cannot be restored. This loophole cannot be made available to
these criminals.
The term “molestation” can leave one with the misguided notion that the crime is
not as “severe” as a rape. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The
severity of repeated rape is incalculable. The devastation is more profound
when the rapist is the caregiver or someone of authority.
If we were to strike the label “molester” from the vocabulary of laws, and name
the crimes as they truly are: rapes, then perhaps we can begin to deal with
this growing epidemic and stunt the cancer that steals our children’s
innocence.
I write all of the above to offer that we must begin the healing process
somewhere. Remove the binds of the statute of limitations for molestation, to
make persons responsible for committing these crimes against children
criminally liable for their actions long after the crime is committed.
If we do nothing to protect our children, then it is our fault.
treatment of animals, our nation should be astonished by the lack of outrage
concerning the mistreatment of our most valuable resources. The human animal. Our
children.
For years, we have taught our children to be afraid of the dark character in the
black coat and hat lurking in the shadows, offering candy and other
enticements. We never took the time to teach our children about the dark hearts
of the people we call family, friends, and acquaintances. Oh, we may have whispered, “Tell me if
someone ‘touches’ or ‘bothers’ you”. When told, this information usually falls
upon the deaf ears of those responsible for protecting and ensuring the safety
of the child. Mostly for the sake of keeping the family together or to smother
the supposed shame brought upon the family.
The laws of the land are written as to accommodate this by minimizing the true
heinousness of the crimes against children. One way of accomplishing this is to
slap the brand of Child Molester on the perpetrator, which can lead one
with the misguided perception of a person who simply fondles, or had a casual
inappropriate occurrence with a child. Meaning he/she placed some part of
his/her body on, or in a child’s body.
Maybe it’s because there are in most instances no physical bruising to catch the eye.
Maybe it’s because children change their stories especially when the
perpetrator lives in the home or has easy access to the child. We mistakenly
consider that a child can essentially influence whether or not they will be
raped.
In recent months, a special has been airing on the television show Dateline. On
this show, episodes have aired showing sting operations used to catch and
humiliate cyber predicators. The fact that the men portrayed on the show are being caught attempting to have sex with a minor does not appall, as one would expect. Instead we shake our heads, and
yes sometimes laugh at the absurdity of the sad excuses provided to the host. What
really amazes me is the fact that these men are often repeat offenders whose
sentences for their crime may last months at most and in some instances, there
is no jail time.
Put before you is the idea that if these persons have not been charged with rape, there
would be no record of having raped multiple women and being let out on the
street with what amounts to a slap on the wrist. Serial rapist would be the
brand placed upon this criminal. Have we not reached the point of calling a
spade a spade?
This is our fault.
Our society has also come to believe that women, especially those deemed by some to
be of exceptional beauty, are incapable of committing the crime of rape. How is
this possible? Have we made physical appearance criteria for determining the
level of depravity of the mind and heart?
A young girl is the eldest of what would eventually become twelve children. In
her early years, she and her sisters and brother were raised primarily by their
grandmother. Her mother went out, found and brought home the man of her dreams.
This man was quite handsome and gave the appearance of being worldly and all
knowing while in fact he was a cruel, divisive and formidable foe. Eventually,
this person would rock the very foundation of this young girl’s beliefs in all
things deemed Godly.
By the time, the little girl was in the third grade she was separated from her
siblings with the exception of one sister. This separation came in the form of
being placed in a “private” school. Separation is a usual and effective tactic.
This was the beginning of a life filled with hurt, lies, and betrayal. This was
a lot to deal with for anyone. Let alone a child. Eventually, the children’s
only protector was driven out and forbidden to have access to the children
sometimes for as long as a year. With grandma essentially out of the picture,
it was open season.
In time the child, less than one month after turning 12 years old would give birth
to her stepfather’s child, without interference from anyone within or outside
of the family. Teachers, family nor doctors raised any red flags. There were
whispers. People knew. No one came to her aid. Not even her mother.
This is our fault.
In our mind’s eye, when a man or woman is raped, it’s often a brutal attack such
that would leave bruising and physical scarring. In most cases, this attack
lasts only for the brief period available to the attacker. Although the victim
is hurting both mentally and physically for all intense and purposes, the
attack is over save for the aftershock and its lasting affects.
In the situation where a child is raped in what should be the comfort of their
home, daycare, camp, church or school these rapes are constant, real, and more
brutal. This is because the repeated attacks are not on the body alone. The
mind, body and spirit are all victims of this savagery. The assailant does not run away. More often
than not, he or she merely retreats to the next room until a later date. The
rapist, more often than not, greets the victim, over morning breakfast.
This is not an attempt to diminish the damage caused by rape from a stranger or
associate on an adult. A child, however, is placed in the situation of having
to suffer the continual attacks of the perpetrator. Diminished is the will to
fight, the opinion of self-worth and sometimes the will to survive. The crimes
of the attacker become the shame they carry in secret places of their hearts.
Not long ago, there was outrage expressed regarding the treatment of prisoners of
war at Guantanamo Bay. Where is this same outcry against the brutal attacks on
our children?
This is our fault.
Even with the overwhelming reports in the news about the kidnapping and rapes of
children we, as a society, still live with the false comfort of thinking this
could never happen to “my” child. We point fingers and ask where the parents
are. We point fingers at our politicians and ask what they will do to protect our
children. The question that begs to be asked is what we will do to protect our children. Politicians are not born into office. We vote them into and out of positions. This is accomplished by
choosing to either cast or not to cast a vote. Children don’t vote.
We are at an impasse. The continuance of idle discussion about the changes that
must be made is of no benefit. There is the blood of cruelty and deceit and
hopelessness on the hands of those who choose to look the other way. How can we
look into the faces of our children and know within our hearts that we do
nothing to protect them? How do we look into the face of the person in the
mirror with the knowledge that we cower from the prospect of standing
up-sometimes alone, against the masses?
When we do nothing, we are a part of this quiet conspiracy.
When we do nothing, we are co-defendants in these crimes.
An even greater cause for concern surrounds the issue of the statute of
limitations. As you may be aware, most assaults begin when a child is of such a
young age that when they have reached adulthood, and are supposedly empowered
to address the crime, the assailant is protected under this veil of injustice.
These crimes are of such degradation as to kill the spirit, hopes and dreams of
children. The time limitation in place renders the victim of these vile crimes
as helpless as when the assaults were taking place. The idea that the victim’s
youth is being wielded, as a weapon to fend off prosecution is ludicrous.
This crime is responsible for killing and cutting short a childhood that as in
physical death cannot be restored. This loophole cannot be made available to
these criminals.
The term “molestation” can leave one with the misguided notion that the crime is
not as “severe” as a rape. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The
severity of repeated rape is incalculable. The devastation is more profound
when the rapist is the caregiver or someone of authority.
If we were to strike the label “molester” from the vocabulary of laws, and name
the crimes as they truly are: rapes, then perhaps we can begin to deal with
this growing epidemic and stunt the cancer that steals our children’s
innocence.
I write all of the above to offer that we must begin the healing process
somewhere. Remove the binds of the statute of limitations for molestation, to
make persons responsible for committing these crimes against children
criminally liable for their actions long after the crime is committed.
If we do nothing to protect our children, then it is our fault.
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